please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the condom got lost in my hair
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
