Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i believe in u and ur pee
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
