She is in my trunk
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
