The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
