The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
