Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
