Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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