Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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