if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Umm I'm too high to move.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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