I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
