I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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