I swear she didn't look like that last week.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize