We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
