she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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