I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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