I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
