That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
As shirtless as possible
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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