your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
