I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
