i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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