1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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