You really coming over, don't trick.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
