I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
