you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
