she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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