tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
