Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
