plz talk dirty to me
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
