I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize