he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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