I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
no, he came in my armpit
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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