Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize