the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We smell like vodka and hangover
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
