note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
