I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
