Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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