Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
