need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
