We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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