We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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