since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
