YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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