Nicole vs. Life
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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