just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
