Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
