got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
