I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well I just put wine in my tea
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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