...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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