Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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