So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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