I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
