i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need moral support for this bender
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize