Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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