its not stalking. its research.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
