You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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