I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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