Moan for me like Helen Keller
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
