i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
