Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
