Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize