3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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