Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
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