Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
