Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
