I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
