So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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