..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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