Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
