why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
