I don't usually arrange sex via text message
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
