i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
