I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
